SATIRE: Students Won’t Leave Campus

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Ron Demetriades Hating Winter Break (Lincoln Lion Tales/Melissa Blasquez)

This winter break, here at Lincoln, teachers and staff encourage students to lay back, relax, and forget about all their responsibilities for the whole break. Of course, many students brush this idea off, almost angry that teachers would tell them to relax. The students are tired of being told to procrastinate before finals, and now are just plain irritated that teachers have the audacity to tell them to be couch potatoes, with all the free time they could use to study!

By this time of year, students are usually frantically searching for books in the library to check out for the break, so they don’t fall behind in class, but the principal has closed the library. More and more students fight with their teachers, requesting loads of homework for the break. The teachers of course decline, hoping that students can have some fun over their break, and finally get their noses out of the books.

Many students are secretly hiring tutors for the winter break, unbeknownst to their parents. Several have been caught stealing notes for next semester from their teachers, and reading the required book list all in a few days.

All of finals week students have come an hour earlier, to prep for the exams, demanding to take the tests immediately. When the finals were over, students lingered in their classrooms, unaware that school was out. Some began crying because their parents and teachers demanded they go somewhere else and have fun. It is obvious that Lincoln students are not happy about the winter break, and would much rather spend their time in school, doing math problems and reciting poetry, but Lincoln’s staff begs students to stay away from the books over break and watch some reality TV,  preferably from MTV.