In light of the newest developments of the ASB and class council elections, uncontested candidates will also take part in the re-vote. The decision was made based off of popular demand by uncontested candidates...
(Edit: Fixed a missing section)
The California Assessment of Student Performance and Progress association announced on Tuesday that there were two new planned assessments on the way. The...
As you may know, my name is Generic Chair. I am the satire editor for this school's newspaper. Did you ever wonder how I became a satire editor? No? Too bad, I'm going to tell you a cliche story outlining...
On Tuesday, Speaker of the House John Boehner announced a proposal for a law that will purportedly prohibit the use of the "selfie" within the domestic borders of the United States. The law will extend...
This schul is full a bad riters. I tell ya, th first time I layed eys on this schul I thought to myself: Myself, this schul's gonna hav bad grammur. Gosh boy was I rite. This schul has such bad grammur...
Lincoln's Badminton match against San Jose High, originally scheduled for April 1st, has been cancelled. The roof on the gym at San Jose High School, the oldest high school in San Jose, has been destroyed...
January 9th, 2013
Sources confirmed on Wednesday that children and adolescents "these days" were actually being too social, and should actually be attempting to communicate less in real life.
"It's...
December 14th, 2013
This Friday the 13th, Lincoln was, yet again visited by the mysterious man in a Hockey mask, this time wearing a Holiday hat in celebratory spirit. Lincoln now has recieved a large...
It came as a surprise on Friday the 13th, when an anonymous donor gave Lincoln High school 5 billion dollars.
The donor himself wanted to remain unknown, and thus, was wearing a Hockey mask. The man...
It came as a shock when the EPA released a press conference on Tuesday, stating that Lincoln High School had become too clean and would be required to start littering starting on April 1st, 2014.
The...
