SATIRE: 5 Steps to Survive Finals Week
1. Burn all your books
To go into your finals with the right mindset you need to clear your head of thoughts and knowledge. By burning your books you are burning the bad luck these books with information they have inside them. Good, empty vibes mean good finals week.
2. Take long naps after school
As this week approaches you don’t want to have those gross under eye bags, as teenagers we have enough acne to worry about. Without those ugly under eye bags and you will be able to get through the week looking like the next Victoria Secret model.
3. Watch Netflix
This week is going to take out a lot of energy and to survive it, why not get ahead start on all your Netflix marathons for over break? After this long semester it is time to catch up on your favorite shows and new movies before break even starts. Watching Netflix can help you relax and get you ready to kick back over break.
4. Go on Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram(procrastinate)
One of the most crucial steps to take for this upcoming week is to procrastinate. You have had all semester to do the work you needed to do to reach the goal you had for your grades. With all this time you should always use your resources: twitter keeping you connected with literature, Instagram updating your selfie ability, and Snapchat informing you on current events.
5. Go to the wrong class on the day of the final
To end the semester with a bang treat yourself; wake up late, forget about breakfast, and go to the wrong class on the day of the final. The one that you miss won’t be that important especially if you have been following these steps.
Jordan is a senior at Lincoln High School, who holds the position of senior class vice-president this year. She was born in San Jose, California and has...
Gma Angela • Dec 13, 2015 at 4:49 pm
I luv this humor and insight. Sarcasm, too. Have a productive and successful finals week.