Bilingual Student Newspaper of Abraham Lincoln High School, San Jose California.

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CHISTES – JOKES

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Español Inglés
#1. En una agencia de empleo:

-¿Nivel de inglés?

– Alto

– Bien. Traduzca “fiesta”.  

– Party

– Perfecto. Úselo en una frase.

– Ayer me “party” la cara con la bicicleta.

– Contratado.

#1. In an employment agency:
-English level?
– High
– All right. Translate “fiesta”.
– Party
– Perfect. Use it in a sentence.
– Yesterday I “party” the face with the bicycle.
– Hired.
#2.

Has oído del mago hispanohablante? Dijo, – Para mi próximo truco, voy a desaparecer a las tres. Una, dos -¨

Pero luego desapareció sin el tres.

#2.

Did you hear about the Spanish-speaking magician? He said “for my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos -” but then he vanished without a tres.

#3.

Un latino va a una máquina de soda. La soda cuesta 75 centavos, le puso 65 centavos y la máquina lee ¨dime¨(10 centavos), entonces el señor se acerca y le susurra, -Quiero Pepsi.

#3.

A Latino man goes to a vending machine to buy a soda, a soda costs 75 cents, he put in 65 cents and the machine reads “dime,”(tell me) so he gets closer and whispers “\Quiero Pepsi.”(I want Pepsi)

#4.

– ¡Ya sé porqué estoy engordando, es el champú!.

– ¿Estás seguro?.

– Sí, tío, hoy he leído la etiqueta y dice “para dar cuerpo y volumen”. Desde hoy empiezo a bañarme con jabón de lavar platos.

-¿Qué dices?.

– Está claro, ahí pone que “disuelve la grasa, hasta la más difícil”…

#4.

– I know why I’m getting fat, it’s the shampoo!
– Are you sure?.
– Yes, uncle, today I read the label and says “to give body and volume”. From today I start to bathe with soap to wash dishes.
-What do you say?.
– It is clear, it says that “dissolves fat, even the most difficult” …

#5.

– Soy un tipo saludable

– Ah. ¿Comes sano y todo eso?

– No, la gente me saluda…

#5.

– I’m a healthy guy
– Ah. Do you eat healthy and all that?
– No, people say hello …

#6.

Un hombre va al circo en busca de empleo.

El director le pregunta: ¿Y usted qué sabe hacer?”

El hombre dice, “yo…imito a los pájaros.’’

El director responde, “bueno… creo que no nos interesa, gracias.”

…y el hombre se fue volando.

#6.

A man goes to the circus in search of employment.
The director asks: What do you know how to do? “
The man says, “I … imitate the birds.”
The director replies, “well … I think we are not interested, thank you.”
… and the man went flying.

 

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Bilingual Student Newspaper of Abraham Lincoln High School, San Jose California.
CHISTES – JOKES