SATIRE: Over 400 Cases of “Senioritis” at Lincoln?


William Quevedo sleeps through class (Jordan Summers/Lion Tales)


What is this mysterious medical disease called senioritis?  Senioritis hits many high school and college seniors in their final semester or even their final year. College apps have been submitted and class schedules leave a lot of free time, seniors become enormously lazy, careless, and immensely sleepy.


As seniors are coming around on their final stretch of their high school careers at Lincoln, seniors have been more likely to want to take a few steps back to enjoy the time they have left instead of continuing their final studies as a high school student. To avoid stress, seniors will take more trips to the beach with friends, leaving less time studying for math tests or for doing the government homework. Also, Grey’s Anatomy keeps getting more interesting, along with all the other new shows on Netflix, so seniors can’t help but stay up until 2 am. Staying up till 2 am the following night is really exhausting for our seniors so they tend to lack attendance on these days, but it’s fine we were just reading Act Two of Hamlet that day. After school is the best time for those re-energizing 3 hour naps that go until dinner, that way when they wake up from their fluffy nap they have a meal to keep them awake to watch some more Netflix or go to Valley Fair to visit all of their friends hard(ly) at work.


Hold on, I really need a nap.